It almost didn't register that the newcomer lowered his wand, but that was probably due to just how frayed the young mother was right now. She had been yearning for someone, anyone, to be here with her...selfishly so, and she knew it. And then...there he had come, walking right through the bloody door. There was a part of the redhead that knew it had to be some sort of dream. It had to be because why would Sirius be here?
Had she gone that long without sleep? Was she hallucinating now? Lily couldn't help but doubt what she saw right in front of her. And it wasn't that she feared him, no, it was that she was scared and shaken in general....she hadn't dealt with anything so far, just living in a state of constant fear and limbo; Sirius was a true friend to James, and she knew that, but Dumbledore hadn't said anything about him.
Her green eyes, more dull than bright...unlike normal, followed Sirius' every moment until he was close enough to touch her. It was probably a good thing that he had the piece of mind to lower her wand for her because the thought hadn't crossed her mind yet. The touch, though, it was real. It wasn't the whisper of something that was in a dream-world; he was flesh and blood. And that was what broke the dam for Lily.
Sirius was here. She had someone and she wasn't alone with her thoughts, emotions, and her little boy. The second that his arms encircled her, Lily lost all sense of composure that she had been clinging to, unable to continue to be strong for herself, for Harry, or for anyone. The tears began to fall and she didn't even care as her wand dropped, clattering to the ground, before throwing her arms around him not even realizing quite how loud the sob that escaped her mouth was. "I can't believe you're here." She wasn't quite aware that she had spoken the words out loud, beginning to shake her head, shaking all over like a leaf. "He's gone, Sirius, James is gone...."
She knew that he knew, but...she hadn't quite managed to say the words out loud yet, and it didn't feel good. It was painful. It felt as if she were literally ripping her heart out of her chest, and the only response that she could give that feeling was to cling tighter to her friend, her fingers digging into his back, afraid to let him go.
It took a full couple of moments to realize that he was apologizing. Merlin, she didn't know what he'd been through since it had happened. Lily was afraid to ask. She knew that Sirius was like the brother-in-law that she would never actually have because he and James had been so close. "Sirius...." His name came out hoarsely again as she forced herself to pull back enough to see her friend's face. "You don't need to be sorry." Her attempt to be firm was more shaky than anything else, but she didn't give up, regardless. "It's not your fault."
Her voice, though not purposeful, seemed to be dying down to a whisper...not because of the sleeping child, but because of the emotions running through her. It was a relief not to be alone. It was a relief to see him, but seeing the man who her husband thought of as a brother...reminded her of what she'd lost, or what her son had lost. And she couldn't help but think of all of the mistakes that she and James had made....with no way to take any of it back.
This was her life now, but Sirius was here. She wasn't alone. Sirius....he would help...
I know I'm so sorry!!!
Had she gone that long without sleep? Was she hallucinating now? Lily couldn't help but doubt what she saw right in front of her. And it wasn't that she feared him, no, it was that she was scared and shaken in general....she hadn't dealt with anything so far, just living in a state of constant fear and limbo; Sirius was a true friend to James, and she knew that, but Dumbledore hadn't said anything about him.
Her green eyes, more dull than bright...unlike normal, followed Sirius' every moment until he was close enough to touch her. It was probably a good thing that he had the piece of mind to lower her wand for her because the thought hadn't crossed her mind yet. The touch, though, it was real. It wasn't the whisper of something that was in a dream-world; he was flesh and blood. And that was what broke the dam for Lily.
Sirius was here. She had someone and she wasn't alone with her thoughts, emotions, and her little boy. The second that his arms encircled her, Lily lost all sense of composure that she had been clinging to, unable to continue to be strong for herself, for Harry, or for anyone. The tears began to fall and she didn't even care as her wand dropped, clattering to the ground, before throwing her arms around him not even realizing quite how loud the sob that escaped her mouth was. "I can't believe you're here." She wasn't quite aware that she had spoken the words out loud, beginning to shake her head, shaking all over like a leaf. "He's gone, Sirius, James is gone...."
She knew that he knew, but...she hadn't quite managed to say the words out loud yet, and it didn't feel good. It was painful. It felt as if she were literally ripping her heart out of her chest, and the only response that she could give that feeling was to cling tighter to her friend, her fingers digging into his back, afraid to let him go.
It took a full couple of moments to realize that he was apologizing. Merlin, she didn't know what he'd been through since it had happened. Lily was afraid to ask. She knew that Sirius was like the brother-in-law that she would never actually have because he and James had been so close. "Sirius...." His name came out hoarsely again as she forced herself to pull back enough to see her friend's face. "You don't need to be sorry." Her attempt to be firm was more shaky than anything else, but she didn't give up, regardless. "It's not your fault."
Her voice, though not purposeful, seemed to be dying down to a whisper...not because of the sleeping child, but because of the emotions running through her. It was a relief not to be alone. It was a relief to see him, but seeing the man who her husband thought of as a brother...reminded her of what she'd lost, or what her son had lost. And she couldn't help but think of all of the mistakes that she and James had made....with no way to take any of it back.
This was her life now, but Sirius was here. She wasn't alone. Sirius....he would help...